lessons in simplicity
Written August 2021.
For some, the word is like a bomb going off. For others it's no big deal. At this point it's somewhere in between for me. I've dropped off the last few weeks from everything, both physically and digitally. And I suppose that's been a nice reprieve to reground myself in what matters.
What's actually happening is I contracted COVID. That's the word I dread uttering even now. Considering I've been living in a place where some people take it as it is, and I've been at the other corner of the country where the majority of folks don't personally know someone who's had the virus — I understand that there are varying mindsets on what this means.
To have COVID can mean a mild headache for some and intubation for others. It can mean a small personal sacrifice of staying home for 10 days or dying in a hospital after a month in the ICU. The spectrum of outcomes is wide. This is why there is also a wide spectrum of stances on how we should approach this pandemic.
My case struck the fear of God in me because of the simple fact that I'm immunocompromised. And as we know, people with compromised immune systems have a lesser ability to effectively fight off this virus. I have arthritis, and while that in and of itself is not directly affected by COVID, I take daily medication that suppresses my immune response. Because of this, I am at risk. I've done everything in my power in my life to be healthy, from getting vaccinated, to maintaining my fitness, to eating well, so I never truly considered that some things are out of my control. I wasn't expecting the worst when I contracted the virus but when symptoms came on as hard as they did, I could not help but wonder if I would be able to fight this off on my own.
What started as a headache and scratchy throat soon shifted into a full-fledged sickness from hell. Imagine the worst flu you've had and triple it. I had every symptom of COVID short of difficulty breathing. And I was scared. I booked a COVID test and it came back positive. So I've been isolating ever since. Because I'm immunocompromised, I was instructed to do 20 days of isolation instead of the usual 10. Essentially my August has been a wash. Meanwhile my boyfriend had a sore throat for less than a day. After his 10 days he was free.
I'm lucky. Not everyone is. And others are more lucky than I am. But I can genuinely say that no matter your perspective on this virus, you do not want this. You do not want your family to have this. Staying healthy and keeping your loved ones healthy should not be controversial. I was double vaccinated and I would hate to see what might have happened had I not been.
Enough doomsday talk. I've recovered and I want to share a short list of things I've learned. My hope is that it puts things in perspective for you. It certainly has for me.
Enjoy and savour your food.
When you take away the taste of food, eating becomes a mechanical means to an end. Take your time eating and be grateful that you have access to and can truly enjoy the taste of food. It is medicine.Spend as much time as you can in nature.
Being cut off from the outdoors is not natural or how we were meant to exist. Even a short walk outside can make a world of difference to your mood and wellbeing. During isolation, I missed fresh air.Breathe.
I've leaned into mindful breathing throughout this ordeal. While it isn't meant to solve your problems, it allows you to understand that you are here, now. Your breath is the most innate path to being present.
I've now felt what it means to eat without tasting the medicine that is food. I've now lived in a box for 20 days without meaningful access to nature or people. I've now experienced true fear when I choked on my own breath.
When you take away the simple gifts that you take for granted every day, life becomes muted, colourless, two-dimensional. Food is a gift. Nature is a gift. Health is a gift. Love is a gift. Love heals all.
Speaking of which, I love you! Thanks for reading.
Stay healthy and stay real.
— K. JO
