my long-lasting fitness hacks + fitness journey
TW: This post does touch on my past battle with disordered eating.
I often look back at my life thus far and take note of what has come and gone. I've dated different people, moved and lived across the country, started and ended jobs that served me for a time. I've dabbled in journaling, meditating, reading, writing. Burnt myself out giving my time to others, isolated myself spending too much time alone. Worked hard to find balance while trying to forgive myself for falling off routines from time to time.
The one constant throughout has been fitness. And I want to tell the story of how it all began, since it's not the traditional narrative of discovering the gym one day and going from there.
When I was three years old, my mom enrolled me in dance. I was a tiny ballerina dancing alongside my sister, who was eight years my senior. I wanted to follow in her footsteps, so that is what I did. I loved dancing, and soon grew up to be a full-fledged competitive dancer. I remember my boyfriend's face when I explained what went into this lifestyle, because in all honesty it was an athlete's lifestyle, similar in many ways to hockey or soccer training. Most people don't understand this about competitive dancing. It requires a massive time commitment and physical strength, balance, flexibility, endurance, and coordination.
This meant 5-6 days a week of classes after school. I had to drive a half-hour to get to my studio, so I got special permission twice a week to dip out of school a few minutes early to make my back-to-back classes. Some nights I'd be training for four hours straight, meaning drills across the floor, conditioning, stretching, running routines, and polishing technique. On top of that, you needed to remember upwards of 9 routines and practice them at home between classes. Competitions were upwards of three days at a time, spending entire days at the venue practicing, performing, and being adjudicated.
I never thought of this demanding schedule as "working out". It was fun for me as a child and as a teenager because I really did love dancing. To me it meant working both individually and as a team, socializing, bettering myself. I never thought of it as a means of staying fit — it was simply baked into my lifestyle just as much as going to school was.
Then I received a diagnosis. Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis. I was 15 at the time, about to begin high school and naïvely annoyed by what the rheumatologist was telling my family. I remember sitting in an exam room with my mother tearfully looking at me as the news came. I resented the pity party and wanted nothing more than to be independent at this point in my adolescence. It felt as though this diagnosis was trying to destroy my life plans, because I'd need to be medicated for the rest of my days. I was told I could never pursue performing arts, or anything without medical benefits that would cover the cost of my meds.
I repressed the memories of the severe pain and disabled weeks I'd experienced leading up to my diagnosis. I refused to take my pills out of denial. I went to dance classes and ditched the wrist braces my occupational therapist had made for me. I was determined to get my life back on track like any normal teenager. The more I worked through the pain as I danced, the more my joints loosened, which in and of itself was ironic. Movement was both my keeper and my liberator.
When I made the connection that exercise improved my symptoms, there was no going back. I kept with dancing well into my university career. After that was finished, I continued taking drop-in dance classes when I lived in Toronto from 2017-2020. I had also picked up the gym in 2016 so that dovetailed nicely with my dance schedule. At this point my arthritis, once raging through my entire body, had remised itself to an existence only in my wrists and finger joints.
This was also around the time that I regressed into disordered eating. After getting out of a bad relationship in 2018, I lost my footing. I dropped 12lbs in a matter of weeks, a number I found both terrifying and self-affirming (in a really fucked up way). In my dysmorphic view, I looked "great" so no one could possibly know what was going on inside.
I found myself exercising more than ever as a coping mechanism for the sadness, eating only once a day since I wasn't hungry, and as I signed with a modelling agency my headspace deteriorated even further. The modelling alone wasn't the issue; it was the combination of going through a breakup, losing my appetite, and modelling that was toxic for me. In fact, I distinctly remember fainting during my test shoot at a downtown Toronto studio. My sister picked me up from the shoot and told me she believed me to be anorexic.
This is the test shoot that I needed to reschedule because of my fainting spell.
The reason I’m sharing my story of disordered eating is to demonstrate how quickly a healthy habit can twist into a destructive one if your mindset is not in order. This is as much a part of my journey as any other part. If you suffer from an eating disorder, please get help.
I'm lucky to say that I've emerged on the other side a more resilient person. I'm back to a healthy weight and my eating habits have returned. I developed a loving relationship with myself, as that's the most important relationship I'll ever have. I saved myself, pulling my own hand through the mud and back to a safe place. Positive self-talk and getting to know myself on my own has been the most important work I've done, which in turn has attracted a man who cherishes and respects me. I can now speak to this experience with some newfound clarity, though I may save that for another standalone blog post.
Recently, I've forayed into the world of progressive pilates, barre, and running. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I’d be a runner. But five years later, here we are. The types of exercise I do now have changed over time, but my love of movement has not. I'd like to share some of the hacks that have kept me going for the past five years, in hopes that one might strike a cord with you.
Choose a form of exercise that you genuinely enjoy.
If you take away anything from this post, let it be this. No amount of drilling a habit into your routine is going to be sustainable in the long term if you inherently loathe it. Choose something that challenges you but also allows you to forget that you’re “working out”. That might mean kickboxing. Because who doesn’t love the idea of beating up a potential assailant with some badass moves? It might mean swimming, which gives you an excuse to go to the ocean or a nearby lake. Find something you genuinely enjoy doing, even if only for a while. And if you don’t enjoy any form of exercise, distract yourself. Focus on listening to that podcast while you run, or jamming to that new playlist you discovered.
Don't be afraid to switch it up if you get bored, injure yourself, or find yourself in a slump.
If you find your mind boring from a specific form of exercise, switch it up! Go for a run or brisk walk instead of doing that home workout. Try hiking at your own pace, or taking a yoga class with a friend. Same goes for having an injury. Oftentimes the road to recovery means a lot of rest and if any exercise at all, low-impact exercise. Some low-impact workouts I’ve done are the best burners everrrrrr — I’m looking at you, barre. Don’t fret over the fact that you’re switching it up, it’s a non-issue! You’re actually learning to work different muscles each time you switch regimens, which shocks the body (in a good way).
Understand that your mind gives out before your body will.
Understanding this is the simplest way to push through workouts and past your personal boundaries. I told myself for years I could not and would not ever be able to run. And now I’m running. Don’t limit yourself. It’s a huge disservice to you. Yes, you should listen to your body when it’s time to stop. But don’t let that voice in your head bully you into thinking you can’t push yourself hard. It’s simply not true.
Embed exercise into socialization.
Want to grab coffee with a friend? Many people would simply arrive at a coffee shop and sit, which is what I did 90% of the time when I lived in Toronto. I’m now realizing there are so many creative ways to “grab coffee”. How about a coffee walk or a hike to catch up? Or maybe you bike to your friend’s place instead of driving. Maybe you take a workout class together, then treat yourselves to celebratory macchiatos afterwards. There are so many methods of embedding exercise into socialization. It’s not only healthy for you but also healthy for your friend. Plus you’ll feel like you got out and did something productive on top of spending quality time with someone you care about — double whammy!
Observe your habits and take note.
If socialization isn’t your motivator, try to figure out what is. For me, I don’t love running with others. It’s an activity I’d rather do alone because I want to focus on keeping my pace and listening to good music rather than worrying about talking. Accountability does work for me in other instances, such as group fitness classes and at-home pilates. I know for a fact that I push myself way harder on a hike where other people are with me, than on a hike I do alone. Another thing I know about myself is that if I fall off my schedule on a particular day, I am 10 times more likely to fall off the following day too. This helps me maintain my set schedule. Observe and take note of the things that motivate you, and apply that knowledge to your fitness routine. Understand what works for you and what does not.
Part of long-term fitness is falling out of routine.
We’ve got to stop beating ourselves up for “falling off” our fitness routines. This is all a part of it. Taking breaks is normal and healthy — everyone falls off! We get into routines, we get out of routines. What matters is how we’re talking to ourselves and looking out for ourselves along the way.
— K. JO