face your fears — post archive

Facing your fears is life’s biggest obstacle- I’m sure of it. I don’t think I’ve ever had such a hard time facing situations or people than when I’m afraid of them. Fear cripples you, eating you from the inside out. It is the ultimate, invisible enemy.

This is why we don’t choose a career that we love. This is why we don't tell someone we care about how we truly feel. This is why when we become addicts, we so often can’t bring ourselves to seek help. This is why those of us suffering from mental health issues are paralyzed by fear of judgment and stigma associated with it, and rightfully so. Humans in general have this sense of pride and something of an ego that we don’t like to question, let alone acknowledge is even there.

Because what’s left once you strip yourself of your opinions, your beliefs, everything you’ve been taught about yourself and the world around you?

The raw, authentic you who has the ability to change.

Some people dread and avoid change at all costs. Others willingly invite it. It is inevitable, after all.

When someone describes you negatively, for example a romantic partner says you’re self-involved, your automatic response is to become defensive. That’s the ego at work. Even if it’s untrue, we have this deep-rooted tendency to immediately refute what others say about us, almost without thinking. We don’t pause to consider if what has been said is true, we don’t take a moment to look at it from another’s perspective. We blindly argue because we are fearful of speculating on ourselves.

When someone spreading the word about a cause approaches you, immediately you feel attacked. Say, to stick with a topical debate, a vegan asks you what you think about factory farm conditions. Well, you argue that meat tastes good, it’s what humans have eaten for millions of years, along with any other accompanying argument. Instead of listening and considering another perspective, we shut down out of fear of guilt, of looking at our choices and questioning ourselves.

It’s very difficult to look yourself in the mirror and admit you have a problem, or that you are making unwise choices. But that’s the first, and arguably most important step. Self-awareness, then... a willingness to put the work in to change.

I believe fear is the reason behind everything wrong in the world. It holds us all back. Instead of facing it, we point fingers. We fight. We’re blind.

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To bring this down from a macro to a micro level, I have this creative energy and I'm not using it. I’m letting fear run my show. So in an effort to combat this, I’m pushing out this video that I’ve had in my head (and honestly has been sitting on my hard drive, finished) for months now. I don’t like this video, I’m not happy with it at all actually. There’s not a single thing I appreciate about it. But as much as I can rip things apart, the best way to move past fear is to accept it for what it is and learn from it. I know deep down that I need this creative outlet. It burns a fire in me like nothing else does. Even though I’m not the most talented filmmaker or editor, it makes me happy. I’m doing this for me, more than anyone else.

So, here is a short edit I made during my trip home almost 8 months ago documenting my time in Nova Scotia. It’s the last time I was there. The nostalgia is real.

Weirdly, congruent to this blog post, the name of the song in the video is Fears. Completely unintentional considering I finished this project in August of 2017. But strangely perfect.

— K. JO