thoughts on failure — post archive

The hiatus has come to an end. I'm back to blogging, and I'm feeling good about it. Despite not having been posting, I have continued to film and write during my absence. As a result, I have a backlog of things that have happened since my last post back in April. Here are some things you can expect from me in the coming weeks/months:

A visit to Nova Scotia + video
My move to Toronto
Toronto Pride 2017 + video
A dance photoshoot

As I get back into the swing of things with posting, I'll start with a post I wrote during a particularly rough week where I ruminate on what it means to fail.

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You always hear about failure. You hear about Oprah Winfrey being fired from her news slot in her 20s, Stephen King being rejected by 30 publishers for his first book, Walt Disney being fired from the Kansas newspaper because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas”, and Steve Jobs dropping out of college before becoming the mastermind behind Apple.

We like to talk about failure. In fact, failure is often perceived as more public than success, at least if we look to the media for any example. The thing is, we don’t like to talk about failure while we’re in the midst of it. It's always easier to talk about failure after the fact - once you've seen what one might call “success". It is painful to look failure in the face and talk about it while you’re in the middle of experiencing it. It makes us feel shameful, embarrassed. That’s why we wait until we are in a comfortable, successful place in our life before looking back and reflecting on hard times and seeing it with a fresh perspective. It’s only down the road that we see the value and the lesson that failure taught us.

Well, I’m here to tell you that I am in the midst of failure. At least, this is what I perceive to be failure.

Sure, you can chop this up to be “The Bemoanings of a Millennial”. However my perspective is that Millennials have grown up with this gift of the internet, a space where experiences can be shared and people can become connected. So instead of seeing this situation as me complaining that my life is so hard, I would prefer that this be seen as me sharing my personal experience as a means of connecting with others in the same boat (as I am positive there are many). You - if you are in fact a fellow Millennial - are not alone in this. Many have been there. I am there right now.

I should start by saying that I firmly believe that school will NOT prepare you for what many call the “real”, adult world. Students, especially students who go straight to university from high school live in this bubble where we believe that we are being taught every needed skill to survive once we graduate.

That is simply not true.

Learning how to live in the adult world is taught through experience. You can read up online about it all you want, but nothing will be a better teacher than experiencing it firsthand. Adulthood is about failure. It’s about making mistakes. It’s about learning on your own. It’s about asking for advice. It’s about opportunity. It’s about risk.

That was my problem. I lived risk-free, in an environment where I was surrounded by padding every step of the way. As a consequence, the moment I stepped out into the job market and started living independently, I was so risk-averse that I didn’t know how to cope when things went wrong. Finding a job as a recent graduate has always been hard. It’s not a new phenomenon; new graduates have struggled with the school-to-work transition for a long time. What is of note is the fact that more and more students (at least in Canada) are now attending university, which creates a surplus in candidates with similar or equal skills.

Well, here’s my personal anecdote. I am a recent graduate with a Business Administration degree with a concentration in Marketing. I’ve done my fair share of co-op work terms and research on my own to try and ease into this transition a bit more smoothly. Since graduation, I’ve applied to internships, both paid and unpaid, applied to career launch programs, agency jobs, and various other roles available. I'm feeling frustrated because I’ve been doing this for the past three months straight, and so far nothing has come of it. I have tried pulling out every trick in the book, jumping at networking opportunities, reaching out to contacts on LinkedIn asking for e-introductions, taking employers out for coffee to learn more, getting previous managers to write me letters of recommendation, creating an online and paper portfolio, scouring job banks, asking anyone and everyone for leads.

I have accepted that finding a full-time position is going to take longer than I expected. I am definitely frustrated, but that is normal and that is okay. I’m not the first, and I certainly will not be the last.

I think so far what I’ve learned is that “no” can often mean “not now”. Timing is everything. It’s a matter of taking every rejection in stride and knowing that more often than not, it’s not personal. There are a plethora of reasons why someone may not hire you, and unless you ask, you may never know why. Rejection and failure are a part of the growth process. It is an opportunity for you to realize that failures are the stepping stones to success, as the saying goes. I haven’t found what I’m looking for yet, but I’ll keep pushing and putting things in perspective. End Millennial rant.

— K. JO

Edit: Funny how I wrote this a day before receiving an offer. The world works in strange ways! Failure is temporary, and allows you to feel success more deeply and with more gratitude. I’m thankful for my failures as much as I’m thankful for my successes. Onward!